come on people....

at least pretend your reading what i have to say. but alas all this will be put down in some books one day,and then you can pay to read it.

so today again,another beautiful day. in the high 70s and spirits high as well. just finished dharma bums in like two days,man did it renew my energy.reading about his travels and adventures reminded me of my own,and i should have written down the beautiful words running through my minds river last night as i finished the book and went outside to ponder and have an evening smoke.my dreams have swept those words away as i tryed to recall them sitting on the 3rd street promenande smoking my cigs with any streetwalker who came by to bum one.waiting to talk to the manager at p.f changs.
the house was quiet and way too early for me to sleep. i was greeted by sweet little molly,that furry whore who lives at the end of our hood.her skin is still irritated from them switching the formula on her but its getting better,and ill help her out anytime scratching her cute little butt as she intentionally backs up against anyone willing to pet her.
we talked as i smoked,i mean i talked and she listened. feels good to have a doggie friend to keep me company while i miss my own sweet monkey,patiently waiting for me on my porch in the red rocks.if anything i hope she is still there when i return.thats my hearts biggest longing,to play with her again,maybe even take her on long jaunts through the mountains and canyons,with nobody to bother us as we wander and enjoy the beauty of the open earth,sleeping bag,food and notebook is all we will carry.i want to dissapear with her and i want to dance in the mountain meadows and roll in the red dirt like i do here in the ocean and the sand but without my doggie soul to partake and queitly listen and never judge or never complain that we trekked 20 or so miles that day. crazy this love for my dog.i think of her everyday,as much as i do all the wonderfull souls i left behind as well.

each job i applied for this week i just missed by a day or two.we just hired yesterday i heard,or monday however close it may have been. but i believe in all that worked out for the better. i will be placed where i need to be so im holding out untill then,letting the greater and wiser spirits from above hold my hand and lead me along for the ride.
I made it to p.f changs today,after my smokes in the grass and coins dropped in the cups of those less fortunate around me.
the manager loved me.probably the best response ive had so far here.he said because of the holiday rush they cant do anything now,but he def wants to set up an interview early next week so be expecting his call. i give them till wed.before i burst back in those doors smiling wildly and working my mojo to get that job.they were rockin and im sure i could make bank there. and i need it soon,because mike comes jan 5th. my traveling companion on his way to mexico.i sacrificed all winter plans for mtl,vegas,and L.a but have no regrets.its been amazing and i couldnt have asked for much more on my plate or you could label me a glutton.

I have some trips planned for his arrival.first thing is a road trip up to our favourite, big sur. for a ten mile hike through the magical redwoods and drink jugs of wine as we play with the wood sprytes and make our way to sykes hot springs.
Then maybe out to mojave where i went for the moon tribe.so we can holler at the moon and far from the city lights so we can see the stars winking at us.
wanderings down venice beach aimlessly with no cares,like i have been doing all week.
the weather still holding like the pier that was almost destroyed yesterday from the powerfull blast that mother ocean has been throwing on the shores.the biggest they say in the last year and a half. and glad i was here to witness that power. it called me as i stripped to my skivies and dove in to get blasted by this monster of white foam from some distant shore. maybe carrying the thoughts from my friends in portugal or the secrets from some little kids as they build there sandcastles and dreams and hide them in the sandy fortress.only to be swept away by the waves, burying their secrets forever from those adults who dont understand because its too simple for even their simple minds.

Im reading the prophet now from kahlil gibran.ever read? another fantastic read of just what i needed to sober me up from my fighting with the wicked spuds turned into spirits.the vodka im talking about.but i do enjoy the battles i must admit. just like the battles of wine me and mr.simpson would have before noon on the dusty desert porch.or the ones shared under the moon with sweet honey B who drifts ever farther away from my mind like the fog blowing through the city tonight.but in a healing way not a bad forgetful one.who could ever forget those words and the eyes that can pierce the soul of mother theresa.

now im off.to kiss the barbara striesands (not spelled correctly im sure,sorry barbara),the most fragant of the roses i have ever come across are blooming again on our porch. and if you have the imagination or the will to smell them,i kiss her tonight under the foggy sky and blow it your way.its that fragrant you will pick it up im sure. even in paris or portugal or moab,or wherever you happen to be tonight while in my thoughts and in my heart.
and merry christmas to those i didnt call today.im calling with the love that abides in me so im sure you will feel it anyway. if you just open up like those beauties opening on my porch.

74 degrees, jealous are ya?

Thats right my friends, i woke up today feeling renewed.partly due to not drinking last night,and partly from the gorgeaus weather that has no sign of letting up according to the weatherguesser,and partly from reading about the first 100 pages of the dharma bums,which now puts me right back into a beautiful frame of mind.
I spent this morning with hummingbirds and cigarettes before ro' took off back for florida.star popped in and also had a renewed glow about her.i skipped to the post office after the house was mine and the hot shower.then i hit the beach because the libray doesnt open till noon.
the beach was perfect,no wind,beautiful waves and very peacful.i got to meditate and read a bit.now to make a resume while im here and hit a few more places this week.
I stumbled around santa monica yesterday looking for the bank and a place to cut my hair. and found the shack,hiring for very experienced servers.i have an interview thursday,so we'll see how that goes.then i found wendy,the little chinese women who cut my hair and we talked the whole time while watching the food network and chatting about her family and the foods we like and blah blah,listening to the other chinese lady next to us complain about the parking ticket she got.oh man i would write some of the dialouge but without the accent behind it ill just save it for another time and save some words here.plus i need to get going,the quicker i get outta this concrete building the quicker i can get my feet back in the sand and head in the clouds.oh that reminds me i need bricks and tobacco for the hookah.

chasing pink ribbons under the desert moon....

so the day begins after waking up early to catch the bus with flip. no drinking today,hes off,back to germany,and me down to the beach to hopefully get a serving job.im suppose to be there at noon to talk with the owner.my bus ride took about two hours.markos in the valley and i have to catch two busses to get to the beach.two long busses.
I arrive home,shower,and head down to the bistro. this owner is impossible to catch.now hes on lunch and wont be back till 3. so ill either come back at 3 or some other day,ive been chasing here for two weeks so im just taking it and waiting for the right opp to come my way.if it happens great,if not,its a big place,im sure theres other options.
well going back at 3 was out after i arrived home. ro' and star were talking about the moon tribe that was happening that night. a collection of burners that party in the desert under the full moons. but they dont give directions untill about 2 hours beforehand.they already had the vodka flowing,a little pre-warmup for our long desert night ahead. yeah going back at 3 is now out for me.

so we drank and partied with the neighboors.took a slight nap,waited and waited and waited for directions. we should probably eat before these next 24 hours so i whipped up a divine vodka cream sauce to go with some cheese tortelleni.for being half italian i should know how to spell that but you catch what im saying.
finally birdboy called with the directions.hes coming over with bean so we can look at the map and hash out a route to take,smoke a little then hit the road. we packed light.
booze,other favors,warm clothes,a sleeping bag and water.

took about 3 long hours to get there.arriving around 1am or so.it was a long horrible drive,and i was just anxious to get there.and birdboy and bean were flying at about 90 so trying to keep up and concentrate on driving and everything was a task in the dark,and i just needed to park and start the party.
the dirt road we turned onto was the sign to start.no chance were back on freeways till we leave this place so the redneck driving started. we smiled as the second bottle for the day was tapped.and the music playing,the moon above,and the line of 7 cars behind us kickin up dust and tearing it up heading to our desert oasis for the next 24.

slight detour. we followed the car ahead of us,well we caught up to them i should say,as i was ripping up these desert roads in our big ass ford truck.we knew we should have turned right there,but they kept going straight.after about two miles i stopped and waited for the cars behind to catch up. we collabarated and decided to turn back and make a right at that bullet ridden sign.which turned out to be right. because right after that the pink ribbons started. that was our light to the end of the tunnel. the trail was small and tight for the truck.but i slammed through and we were finally greeted by the first tribe member.
told us where to park,where the fire would be and the djs etc...
for we were one of the only ones there out of twenty.the djs just got there as well so set up was still some time off and no fire yet. and its balls cold.
we walked around a bit and said hi to those who were around.then i decided to crawl into my bag in the bed of the truck.just to nap a little before it started.
my little turned into all night.
i got offered mushrooms once around 3 i think,but it was soooo damn cold,and my bag soooo damn warm and rousing from my deep sleep i just couldnt get the energy to get up. i just needed a quick awakening,but everyone went back to the party and let me slumber.
which i wasnt too mad about.i listen to my body most of the time.and when it tells me to stay and sleep.i generally listen.but i woke at around 7am.music still pumping,yelling and happy sounds coming from everywhere.
drank my vodka for breakfast and headed towards the fire which was smoldering.i stoked it up and quickly we had a nice little morning gathering around the fire.
I passing my bottle,they passing there joints.the sun rising,the warmth hitting our skin taking the icy morning chill out of the desert.and our clothes off.
just what i needed this morning. the music was great,the people even better. ive met many a cool burners since being here and i see them almost every weekend at these events we attend.
we partied all the rest of the day. dancing,sitting in circles,talking around the fire.
they finally started to winde down at around 4 i think.the music getting more chill,along with the leftover party people like us.till finally it looked just how it began with only about 20 and a few cars parked sparsely in the open desert.
sobered up a bit,i turn the key and were off.in a long long blurry daze home.trying to navigate our ship safely through the l.a highways to the cozy and long awaited bed.my back aint doing too well after that truck sleeping.
we stopped at a little country truck stop diner,the last 24 has been booze,smoke and one orange with a hard boiled egg. im ready for food now.greasy spoon trucker food.mmmmmm.
with all eyes on us and our not too normal looking attire,it didnt even matter,we strutted right in,sat down smiling and ready to feast.
mozzarella sticks up first,then the country biscuits and gravy,salad, now my main course,patty melt with fries.
brp!excuse me,still taking a few days for the grease to course through my body.
and thats about the last i remember,the drive was a blur,me barely holding on to pilot us home,but upon arrival i crashed into the bed like i had just been knocked out in the first round by mike tyson.dreams,i dont remember,which isnt new,but my long nap was just what i needed.i remember waking at the alarm,early for a pick up shift at the coffee shop.i think i slept enough hours,but im still fuzzy,and they notice at work immediatly with laughs and asking where ive been since my unemployment.so i tell them the flip69 drinking days story and the mojave story.have my bagel and soy hazelnut latte,and finish out the day,ready for this weekend at space island.
another warehouse party.the last big one of the year,with performers,many djs on many floors,art,firespinners and all that you can imagine for a long night of parties and socializing. so thats on tap for this evening.
the bar job,i went back today,and the lady was a bitch.apparently the owner never told her i was to come in and she was caught off guard.plus it was slow so she didnt think she would need me,but if i wanted to stay and take tables and train and everything without pay or tip i could.i told her maybe i would just come back later then and talk to the owner because that just didnt sound right to me.so i said call me if you need me.but im pretty sure im not going back there.except to drink on sundays when the doors band is playing.if they want me after that,we'll work something out. plus this vietnamese restaurant around the corner is interested in me and said they will let me know their decision on mon or tues.

so for now,im back to the unemployed life and not complaining.still living off my coffee shop check with one more to come on monday.so if nothing comes to fruition now then maybe the new year has just what im waiting for.i wait and see.
now i gotta go concentrate on my dress for tonight.
i have brown velvet sleeper pants with a fuzzy gold belt and my biker boots.now to find a top,glue the hair,and the party supplies are on the way and where off to space.
i should call marko.

flip69...then mojave.

so before the mojave story i first should start from where it all began....
flip69 was in town,a couchsurfer from germany,who likes beer go figure.
and with me enjoying my unemployed life i thought it be fun to go stay out at markos my second home.since flip was there and marko at work i figured i could entertain him and bring him some of my lazy hobo like lounging l.a life.
so i took the bus after work and made it to markos,we immediately started with beers and vodka,but i mainly with the vodka.beers filling,and ive always liked vodka,nice and clean high with very little hangover.something about being in this city life puts me back in that high life party livin mode. not that i didnt drink in the desert,i just found it easier to control there.probly due to that deep spiritual connection i have with that place and myself. and this place being full of excuses and disquises,its easy to just let loose and party it up.also i feel that connection that always was a draw here for me long long ago,back in my hero days of jim morrison and keroauc.yeah im in high spirits when i party.so when i die and go to hell.ill be in good company eh?
so bascially for three days me and flip,drank,and drank,and wandered the city,and i broke him in to some coldstone,we pigged out on ice cream,wandered hollywood more and i broke him in to my fav cream puffs in the world from beard papas,and then we drank more,and stumbled our way from bus to train to bus and back and forth from the beach to the valley so many times,ill get sick thinking about those bus rides again.

in hollywood we had loose plans to meet mathieu,loose meaning that if he got there and found us,great,if not, were gonna sit here and enjoy these two for ones.
and they were liters.
oddly enough he did find us... but the universe works in strange ways and ive had many examples just from being here in L.a that ill save for some other stories.
just walking by he heard our voices,looked over,ordered four and sits down to join us.the table behind us,all travelers,the table next to us,all travelers as well.
we now just converted a bunch of new couchsurfers. after talking and drinking that patio was full of new friends,it was amazing to see things blossom like that.
we even took moedawg,one of the new ones with us to venice beach the next on a long tour of drunken buses and laughs.
long story short,we ended up that night at big wangs. a bar on sunset with $6 pitchers,it was the surfers last night and everyone was burned out from days of non stop parties.we had some beers,we talked and people watched then we called it short,and headed home.for a rest i thought,then mojave came calling......

hollybowld

many reasons for the name,but first ive just realized,that all this is for when im dead.when people want to know about me or what i was like or doing at the time, then they can read my past blogs.for now i post for myself. i guess im in this mood because i havnt heard from many friends in awhile and i hate to be forgotten.hello is anyone out there? a little love,damn.when the email account is bare,makes ya feel lost and forgotten. and i also miss my dog like nothing else in the world.part of me wants to go whisk her away but i know this is not the place for her.and im not ready to come back and live there with her,so we will be in limbo for as long as it takes and ill deal with it.i really feel like crying now.maybe its the no sleep and the parties taking its toll.maybe its growing pains and a rebirth or a reamergence or something unknown and new. but back to the hollybowld....

the other day i got off work around 1.called marko and set up for him to pick me up in dwntwn L.a. the surfers were meeting in hollywood for drinks and wandering.
i was in santa monica so i just hopped the bus line and they scooped me on sepulveda. i can take the bus 24/7 anywhere in L.a. i love it and can navigate the lines like the back of my hand.

we started wandering around the hollywood and highland area. ending up at the pig and whistle.a cool little bar where we sat outside and pounded beers waiting for casey to show up so we can move on and continue the party elsewhere. he finally arrives after my 3rd i think.strong point mind you utahns. and we decided with not much of a plan for the evening to go bowling. bowling! its been years.so the trash talking started the whole walk there.
lucky strike lanes was the shit! expensive but worth it. they had the hockey game on right in front of the lanes,each lane with a huge screen tv so you could bowl and watch at the same time.good food,exp beers but what are ya gonna do.fun times.
the first game was our warm up,we all sucked, i got a few strikes and ended up in second place. damn Si.hes good and my competitive nature came out and naturally wanted to beat him. i never got the chance...

3rd frame,second game,someone mentions lets go smoke.
smoke what i say?
ohhh of course,that.sure ill partake.
and thats the last i saw of that second game.
we sampled a few peoples tasty greens.
then the guy who gave us our shoes came out and started chatting and smoking some of his own medical stash.which after i sampled. gave it the cannabis cup award and was well pleased with my buzz that i was working on for the evening.
i arrived back at the lanes for the last frame which someone had bowled for me.huh,im in second again.
time to pay and split this place. now were off to grets house in dwntwn.
skid row.for real.think little shop of horrors skid row and your in grets hood.no lie.
I bought a hookah on the way. i owed star some money and we decided to just put it towards a hookah for the house.
so we took everyone back to grets for beers and of course to bless the new hookah.
all i remember is arriving home late late that night with a killer headache and not many hours left to sleep before work.
ahh the price we pay for self indulgence and good times with our friends. i dont regret any of it or wish i could take any of it back.we only live once and it may end tommorow,so im going large or not at all,with a smile on my face all the way.

The hookahs been great,the house loves it and so does our hood,which consists of the 5 houses secluded in my venice alley. we sit and smoke,and drink coffee and socailize and i love every minute of it and everyone i spend those minutes with.
which reminds me,,i must be off.been in this coffee shop too long,and if i drink anymore green mango peach tea on ice,im going to ice my pants.
plus katrina is in town from the peacetree on her way to N.Z.
think im meeting them on the santa monica pier.

oh and by the way,i got a small job lined up for jan 1. if it all works out.the gym next to the coffee shop i use to work at is changing owners and the new owner approached me stealthily and said...she likes my personality and my smile.and i would make a great addition to thier new gym. easy job,running the front desk with the hours i wanted 7-noon,and pays $10 an hour plus a membership.
we had a meeting today when i got off the coffee shop,walked around with the interior decorator and talked about what may come jan 1.such a hobnobber i am.little social butterfly.lol
im stoked.and im in. so now i just wait and see. and maybe search for some extra cash at a night job a few days a week. when you blow half your budget in one night of hookahs,bowling,pot and beer, a man can always use a little extra fun tickets.
so im off.and feeling much better now.thanks for listening to those who actually listen.and thanks for being there.even when i dont feel you.deep down i know you all are there.

morrison re-incarnate

Thats me this past weekend,my old pal morrison.picture him strutting down venice beach,shirtless and in a drunken,drug induced haze and you have my picture.

It all started with a burning man rave for a hurricane katrina benefit in a downtown warehouse in the hood. a pink themed rave,so i dressed rock star pink,lace see through pink tank top,tight fitting ass clenching black pants,stars motorcycle boots,some pink stoned jewelery and punked out punk rocker hair,which im keeping now because everyone loves it. i worked the night shift friday so i got to take home all the baked goods,and i mean ALL. five bags,one i fed to the homeless on the way home,now with four left i started feeding the bus drivers,then the nieghboors,then with many bags still left we decided to bring them with us to the rave.great idea,everyone who was still left at 8am with us got fed,and loved it.cherry danishes,scones,muffins,cookies,it was a delight to all the little partied out burners.
we danced all night,well the girls did,i danced a little bit,but i got some smoke and wound up hanging around all night smoking with anyone and everyone.we downed a bottle of kettle one before even leaving the house,and cyphered the flask for the rest of the night.i drove the girls home arriving around nineish.were in a haze right now and decided the best thing to do would be to start again and wait till we passed out to call it a day.so before breakfast was even cooked we had finished the next bottle of vodka.i returned to the store for a bigger one.and came back with bags of food to make brian McMuffins,the only thing we would have to eat the rest of that day,the liquid then took control.
breakfast done our friend raph came by to bring a "green salad" to help with digestion.the wind is blowing,the sun is shining and it looks like a great day for the beach.looks is the key word.we stumbled down to the strip amongst the whistles and the yells,still being in our outfits,who cares this is venice beach,the freaky is the norm here. we arrive,pull out blankets and immediatly pass out,for like two hours even the hurricane winds could not wake us,untill i arise and sweep the sand out of my ears,mouth,hair,back,its everywhere,and looking down at star i start laughing,it looks like kids had been trying to bury her while she slept.i cant believe we didnt feel it that whole time.the girls then woke up,and we evacuated the scene arriving back to our beds at 4pm. so ive just rallied from 7.30 fri night to 4pm sat with minimal sleep breaks in between.phew,the rest of saturday was a sweet blur of a dream.

Upon waking sunday its now couchsurfing day. some of the gang is in town and they want to hang on venice beach for the day and then the drum circle at night.which basically boils down to drinkin all day.
oh well,sometimes ya just gotta do whatcha gotta do and let go.I let go like a champ.
i met them at the candle cafe.our fav place on the beach to gather and smoke hookahs while drinkin cheap pitchers. then we loaded up on cases of beer for the beach.
but it was still windy.so i hung in the grass near the strip with some others,and we talked with the homeless and shared beers with them. then the doors tribute band came out like they do every sunday night.but because our moods were polluted we danced like no other night,in the street with the others,under the moon and stars, and those who didnt want to pay the cover.
bands done,hookahs out for those that didnt dance.we head now to the drum circle.a small one tonight,but a small one full of the best drummers the circle has to offer so it turned out quite nice.we danced more,and drank,and laughed and watched that beautiful moon wax across the sky of the open ocean untill it was too cold and time to retreat to the bar.the venice cantina was our last stop for the night.my stomping grounds on sunday nights for hockey,football,and good local chatter.it was nice to take the surfers there.bunch of sallys though,me and julien were basically keeping the party going. we ate nachos and lobster corn dogs,my favorite,and drank a few unneeded more.now its partings and goodbyes for the night,my street goes this way,their car over there somewhere.and im out,i dissapear down the shadows of my ghetto street and then another night of sweet sweet sleep,but it went too fast.

I awake in a blur for monday morning,its 4.3am already,might as well get up and shower this sand and glue from the weekend out of my hair so i can be somewhat presentable for work.its going to take awhile.
its still so dark by the time i leave the house,i didnt even notice.....usually i dont turn on lights this early,i dont like to wake the girls.and this morning was no different.but if i had turned them on i certaintly would have noticed that i just put on two different shoes and left the house for work.but i didnt even notice untill it was too late.so yeah,thats how my monday starts.and i already heard all the jokes this morning from everyone so im over it.
but i think this is a sign of the way things will go all week. the surfers are in town till sunday,and everynight will probably be like my weekend.so i guess i could say i started the week on the right foot.maybe ill get the shoes right tommorow.we'll see how the night goes......

..she lives on love street...
been rigning in my head all weekend.
where is she?
or is it just a ghost from the morrison days ive been living?
ill keep my eyes open.as much as i can.these squinty little eyes.