batman

This weekend i fought a bat. a real bat,like flying into my house bat not a fight with some drunkard and a baseball bat.

I was alone on the weekend,housemates are all out on various adventures,me....just finishing the first full weekend back to work,and adjusting by hitting the bar for a drink. both nights were lame,slow weekend,but i did get offered a back up position at the bar,which reinforces my goal of saving up as much as possible so when i leave next time,i can came back when i want.

back to the bat. after leaving the bar i arrive home to the dogs my best friends who were so eager to see me. i couldnt just go to sleep on them,so i put on some jazz,fired one up,sat on the porch,let the dogs roam the yard,me roam the dark sky above. not much of a moon tonight.
then this little bat flies into the porch and into the house.

Im not too fond of those hairy,flying,biting,little screeching rabie thingy's. so immediatly had to get it out of the house. I hid behind russ's curtain at first waiting for it to land. i then observed it from a safe distance,and got the chills,so i couldnt muster to like get close enough with a bag or a cup or something,but then i see the darts. the dilemma,do i try and kill the bat like some ninja secretly discarding its body in the yard or in a fire,or think of some other way to rid my house of this creature so i can sleep in peace without crazy dreams and worries of bats nipping my nose or ears while i sleep. so i opt for the darts,first one narrowly missed,spooking the bat and me back to russ's curtain and the bat to flutter around trying to find another perch and not the door like i was wishing.

It landed above the sink perfect,i can use the fridge as my foot line for the darts,two left.
first one so close im shocked the bat didnt move. next dart,i pray to the creator of this creature,and say sorry for mabye piercing this beast and putting it to its untimely death. i threw and hit something,in the split second i realized the bat was trying to fly but was pinned by i dont know where the wing im guessing,i grab the broom,charge to pin it against the wall. one more motion,i remove the cutting board hanging from below the bat and the sink,grab the empty yogurt container and push the bat into the sink covering him with the cup and running outside to toss it away and run back in the house. all the while screaming like a girl which im sure the neighboors heard and thought just some weird fetish night at the house or something. dogs in an excited state not knowing what to think just joining in the excitement.

phew,then i recover,smoke a cigarette,drink tea,and replay all of the deul in my head,thankfull i didnt have to deal with a bleeding,screeching bat, just some high pitched clicks and clacks while i swatted and darted this thing out my casa. i went and checked later,the cup was empty and no sign of a dead bat in my yard,so it all worked it out for the both of us.
hopefully i wont have to battle with another bat for awhile,but theres worse out there and just thankfull i havnt come to fight those yet.

today

Today i jumped through a polygon while balancing an octagon on the end of my yo-yo.
beat that.

cave

Ive retreated to my cave,(my room, my house). late night work,beer at the bar,sleeping the days away,avoiding everything,untill lunch when i stumble out and fry some eggs and toast. afternoons in the garden,reading,or reading in my room,anything to keep my mind occupied. basic italian grammar,cs lewis-the problem of pain,edgar allan poe.
then its back to work to start the cycle over. bars close,but the smoke is always open,late night ramblings to the dogs who will always listen,candles flicker and sway while everyone sleeps,music playing conjures up the spirits of those that have danced with me in the past. they tip toe on the twirls of incense smoke precisely to the beat.take the place of the dogs and listen to everything i have to say without me saying a word.they are good like that,can speak with their eyes and say so many things in just one simple word. knowledge.they dance,wisdom. they whisper.
poof,and they are gone.and like awaking from a dream i see her,disappearing with the last whisp of late night incense,wearing the same size halo as me. making sure i awake okay.
and the day begins again.....

love

what is love the old age question. i love many things,but when i compare it with the meaning of the word,it hasnt matched up yet. so i have been fooled by what i thought was love.which happens to so many of us. if youve ever been hurt by love then it was not love,it could not have been. its either the real thing or its not,not sometimes,not on occasion,but all the time it must be what it claims or it is not true. anyone can be loving,but to be that consistently is the true test.
now,what is the definition of love?
according to paul the apostle,he gives a beautiful explanation that i tend to agree with. for if you dont believe his defintion then i would have to think you almost crazy. who would not want this,this love that he proclaims,all the time,consistently,its a beautiful picture,a picture of love that i should hope to find one day,whether in myself or another,or many to rejoice with all our love.

love,love is patient,love is kind,love is not rude,love is not self seeking,love does not envy,it does not boast,it is not proud,it is not easily angered,love keeps no record of wrongs,it does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth,it always protects,always trusts,always hopes and always perseveres.
ahhh that last one,the key,persevering.see anyone can do any one of those things,but to do it consistently=true love.

now when i look back to all the times i was in "love" i see those listed above,sometimes, but not all the time,and if it was true love well then we would still be persevering,showering in all of those wonderful attributes. so it must not have been,i was a fool on the wrong path,misled by our thoughts our own defintion of what love is,damn do we even know what we really want in the first place?except to fill that void of creation somewhere in the souls of all of us.
with this defintion of love i walk in that path,that search for the existing golden rose of love somewhere along the way amongst the weeds and thorns and brush that sprout up along the way,disguising their lies with a mask of what they call love.that mask that has fooled all of us.
the usual suspects line from spacey enters my head,"the greatest trick the devil ever pulled is convincing the world that he doesnt exist."
hats off devil.youve fooled us all.
but armed with the definition of true love,its hard to be fooled again.good luck finding your prize.always persevere.

thank you

thank you to everyone who hosted me on my travels.and if you didnt host me thanks for being there,to chat,eat,drink,and do all that we did on my crazy wanderings and adventures this summer.
i love when people now ask me what was the most amazing thing ive seen or done. and my honest answer is nothing.nothing but the people and conversations and times shared.meeting new friends, that will be in my life for, well all of my life.
no buildings,beaches,extravagent food dishes or drink can compare to those deep conversations,or late night music listening,letting souls wander in their own thought while we just sit and be.be in each others company.whether we just met or have done this many times it never gets old.and truly this is what life is about.sharing moments and connecting our souls to each others,that permanent feeling deep inside.almost like a deep link that comes from opening up yourself to others and sharing all you have,honestly,no screens put up, just yourself.a friend for your soul.im sure my soul gets bored of me talking to it all the time,so its nice to have others to keep it company.
thats what makes my travels so intriguing,addicting.
is getting to meet all of you,and all of you still to come.and all the randomness and love and light that we can share together while we share our lives in this very interesting and terrifying time on earth.
so again,thank you so much for making this summer travels so amazing for me.couldnt have done it without ALL of you.
much love and appreciation flows from the desert in every direction towards everyone of you. thanks for being. being you.

eating habits and celebration.

today for breakfast i had dark chocolate with espresso beans and two grapes.
yesterday, cantaloupe and red wine.
what strange pattern is this?
maybe its a celebration of life and death. sad watching my grandparents 21 year old cat walk around the house confused,crying,sitting in the shower thinking hes in his room or something.
so i'll celebrate my life and eat what ever i want when i want,because tommorow or hell even tonight for i all i know,ill be walking around dying,confused,sleeping in my shower.
life is so unpredictable.so is death for that matter. which is why i live this life like i do,never regretting any moment,never missing the chance to do what makes me happy. not forgetting the past so as to not make the same mistakes in the future. ahhh celebrate. celebrate what we have now because the future will only take us away. leaving one thing behind. the dash between the dates on your headstone. 1978-?

brooklyn, jobs,strong drink.

so returning from europe we stop in nyc to stay with our cuz nick.mikes brother. mike left the next day. i met the neighboorhs ( my spelling is atrocious) we went to the mets game,i drank,smoked,laughed,cheered.all those good times.
got up the next day took the fung wah bus to boston. spent it with two friends attending harvard,who i need to write and congratulate for getting through the summers course of chemistry,studying for finals and still have enough time to spend with me eating cream puffs to die for and shakespear in the park.
so returning from the long weekend in boston,i hit nyc again.chill with the neighboorhs,go get coffee and start to kill some time before the mets game. nick bailed on the game,the cute little bartender brought me a free shot of what she just invented the night before,,pound cake. yeah it was good. then she suggested we start with whiskey,since im not going to the game now i might as well start drinking and meet some of her other friends at a bar that serves belgium beers round midnite.also offered me a job,damn thats twice this trip,barcelona and nyc. two cities that i absolutely love.but will have to consider for another time when im ready to make a change.
so i end up just spending the whole night at this coffee shop/bar. went to eat sushi with one of the other workers,alejandro from brazil.cool cat for sure.talked ate.went back to the fix and had one more drink. went home to meet nick,freshen up,then off to meet my new gang of friends for belgium beers....which i didnt really need by now,or the 3 makers on the rocks from the two bars that came next either.
met some hoods on the corner late night.shared their pipe,told stories,talked about the world,parted with hugs,handshakes and best wishes and i attempt to stumble home.
get this.... i get one block,seriously i could see the apt. ahead. one block away and i just got the worst feeling,like if i go home now i may puke,plus its a beautiful brooklyn morning at 4 am and im just not ready to go in on my last night in the city. so i sit,on the sidewalk against some unnamed business,which turns into lying down justifyed in my mind by " shit i slept on the streets of strange cities around the world i can handle brooklyn"
and i did.uneventful,not one person bothered me in my two hours of tounge out of my mouth looking like some drunk fool on the street,oh wait..um well anyway it was an expierence i will never forget,and can now brag about the night i slept wasted in the streets of brooklyn one block from the house. thanks to ill jill,alejandro and the rest of the group from the fix.best coffee shop in brooklyn. ill be back,with bells on. thanks new york.

home yet?

damnit i want to be home. i can hear the desert calling me.and my dog.
the road has been fantatic this summer.90 days of blissful wanderings,strange people and hard, gut busting laughing spazms.but still in all this,im exhausted and really miss my home,even being with family in buffalo is not quite like home although i did grow up here,it seems more like a distant shadow of a memory.always nice to the see the family though,they love me and i them.but only for a few days....then memories from H.S come back and other stupid childhood moments and i want to disappear back to my desert solitare.which i am doing in a few days. if the hitchhiking from green river goes as well as the last times i should arrive with the red rocks glowing off my face by wed.afternoon. and sink into the sand with a smile,my face soaking it up in that hard desert earth,and my dog frantically licking my face,nipping my beard and im sure a bout of not listening for my punishment of leaving her for so long. oh and beer and wine with my friends of course.
one more road trip left on this adventure and im done. leave for toronto with mike tonight,going to meet cs'r dani and faye,and i think tina from croatia will be there too. one last cs hoorah to close out this summers travels.ive met some of the most incredible friends from this last adventure.most surfers are good people and not the type to burn you with their cigs at night while you sleep.and these good people,im sure will be in my life till i take my last breath.
thanks to all of you who kept my smile on fire.and my heart and belly full. ill be back next year and we can do it all over again.