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Today is my third day without a cigarette. I threw out my last one after my thai lunch in mtl. but i am smoking those prime time cherry cigars,come on,cut me some slack,i gotta start weening somewhere.

Yesterday, i went drinking with my grandparents around 2.good start to the day. it was like old times when i was younger,and would go spend some days with them up in cassadaga lake,and drink at henrys tavern,or the old vfw,or sitting in the kitchen,listening to gramps talk,and grams making her famous cream cheese and olives which i would drunkenly devour.
their much older now.gramps looks and is doing great,grams though,looking like death itself on his horse. granted she isnt feeling well and not sleeping,but ever since she fell off the wagon again you can visibly see the difference.damn i dont want to grow old.but if i do,im doing it in style and fun just like the old man,still got his humor,and makes me want to come back soon,and do nothing but drink and sit in his kitchen and listen to stories from days long passed.

after that i headed back home to pick up my little bro and pops for the sabres game in rochester.usually its in buffalo but the new owner being from rochester,and also the americks being our farm team he wanted to do a rochester appreciation day.
bums, how come the one game i get to see this year was a complete breakdown.they played like college kids,half assed,and still hungover from the night before.
i swilled down a few beers and painfully watched our team die.
then i took off to buffalo,one last hoorah at the local bar,drinking away the loss for my team and to season myself for the weekend in vegas.

mission accomplished! damn sully makes a mean crown and soda,just like i remember,skipping days of high school,after the long late nights at checkers with sully and the crew pouring drinks and enjoying the feel of the warm bar and friends. hiding from the drab buffalo air hanging outside,waiting to choke you with a chill icier than deaths finger.

the pipes were passed plenty as well. damn they know how to party,and make ya feel right back at home. its a good feeling when you come back to visit,and see that nothing has changed,except me,and thats a good thing.how boring and sad to stay in the same state of stagnant waters,never taking the oppourtunity to flow onward like the rivers we are.

i flow tomorrow,towards vegas.i think ill try and get what little sleep i can tonight,im gonna need it.

thats cuz'n mike dead center,on our march through mtl,me,im grabbing for that bottle.

after the game....dancing fool....more pubs and parties.

after the game my buzz was on and strong,we went back to the girls house to pick them up for the club. we were going to meet a bunch of couchsurfers at a place called le douge,i think. anyway it was a pretty cool place,expensive drinks,but the music was good,and i actually danced,yeah like a fool.sometimes it just takes a good song and drink to get me going. i was wearing my canadians shirt from the hockey game,and by the time i was done,sweating and dancing,oh that reminds me i should probably take that out of my bag and wash that.

so we danced and danced and danced.really not getting a chance to shoot the shit with anyone,music was too loud,but from what i could see,everyone was having a blast and for now thats all that mattered.
i went downstairs to the pizza shop,3 cold slices later i was ready to get back upstairs.and now the night is almost over,i slow danced 8th grade style with faye to the slow part of grease lightning,it was hilarious.and thats about all from that first night.

next day was the picnic in mont royal park,11-5.
so of course we arrived late,fashionably,4pm. one hour left,it was overcast and cold and from the turnout it looks like most people had the same thoughts of stayin in bed today like we did. we got there in just enough time to smoke mayas hookah.did she bring this from vegas?ill have to ask her when i see her again this weekend.
so the hookahs done and now everyone wants to go to yazes so cari from england can make us dinner.

we fit 8 people into niks saturn.2 in front,4 in back and 2 in the trunk.
arriving at yazes we beat him there. not sure if this was the place on christopher colombus ave. but the door was unlocked,we stealthily crept in and found a passport,and some luggage.yup,these are surfers,so we made ourselves at home, ran to the store for beer,cari started coooking and slowyly everyone arrived.think we had 22 of us. and like jesus,that small piece of meat and potatoes she made fed everyone. and the yorkshire pudding was great,but i still insist its not pudding. pudding you eat with a spoon,like jell-o pudding snacks,everyone knows that,and when they made the caramello ones,mmmmmm.anyway yorkshire pudding for those of you that have never had it,is basically pancake mix in muffin cups and baked like a bread.

after dinner the party continued,more beer,very nice setting,not a loud bar so we really got the chance to talk and hangout.then i was sent on a mission,which i knew was a bad idea in the first place.walk 20min with grettele to fayes house to get the vodka,and then run grets bag to her host house.i never saw the party again....

but faye appears on our walk back...their leaving for the irish pub she says.mike will be here in a minute to pick you up,of course full and no room for me. so in front of the police station,we pop the trunk,my turn. and as im riding in the trunk with gret all i could do is pray and think of horrible visions of us getting t-boned and my ass turned to hamburger in the trunk of a saturn,not a very poetic style i would have wished to go out in.
but i was spared one more day,thank the good lord.

we park,the trunk pops and gret and i immediatley hop out, shocking to every passerby on peele street. it must have been like watching a clown car pull up.
inside Mcleans irish pub awaited about 40 surfers.drinking paralyzers and philosophys and all types of expensive clever named potions.
we got to chat for a bit and drink,laugh,smoke,we went with peter to the park across the street,one more late night session before bed.

havnt seen jacinthe or sophie since day one,they had work and school so couldnt play too much since that first night of dancing,but they let us have the run of their loft and come and go as we please.
they should have been there monday. i thought it was the best day. we were suppose to leave,but we went back to yazes to get my sweater,b's sweater actually,a little zip up hoodie that i just love to throw on. and as we arrive so does marko and jose and a few others, they were hungry and on thier way to eat,so we joined and ended up marching an army across the city for about 2 1/2. meeting up halfway with about 20 others,we conviently congregated in front of a liqour store. well if were going to walk and its cold out,we better get a drink, marko and the scottsman agreed of course.southern comfort it is,lets start the march.

lily led us somewhere,up sherbrooke,down some other street,over to st.catharines.pointing out sites along the way.all along we all held hands,arms in arms,kicked plastic water bottles like a soccer game all through the city,swigging from SoCo,laughing,smoking,handing out couchsurfing business cards like the guys passing porn cards in vegas to anyone that would take one.photo ops,pee breaks,dont really know where we were going,but we did pick up two other surfers, scottsman bought more beer,peter pulled a pipe,oh yeah its going to be one of these days,damnit why cant i stay longer and continue this party............
responsiblity.oh damn you. i must return to buffalo and go to the birthday hockey game with my little bro,no amount of partying can make up for missing that with him.hes 14 and im sure he'll want to remember this with me.one of my few times home with the family,i think i can handle that.

so the party is almost over,we stopped at this little greasy spoon with smoked meat special,what got us was cheap beers,and $6 dollar plates of food. travelers wont complain about that. i talked to the owner,got us $10 pitchers,let him know what we were all about,where we were all from,what we did,how we enjoyed mtl.
i think all he saw was a bunch of loud funny travelers,a mix from every corner,drinking and laughing and having a good time in his restaurant.he was pleased. and i as well.
damn i hope they tipped well.me and marko collected money for the beer tab.at least i know she made a good tip off that,all the extra collection went to her tip.

time to part. so sad,hugs went around,i miss them already,my traveling family,a collage of characters so unique and full of amazing qualities,that i cannot wait to meet them again in whatever city we choose,im there.they are my brothers and sisters from another place,but we all have the same goal of unity,and friendship,and my cheeks hurt from smiling. how can you not be in a good mood when surrounded by this much love and companionship.
so my heart and stomach was full on the ride home.we made it across the border no probs. and our cheebah was waiting,patiently in the 3rd bush which made the rest of the 6 hour trip just sail along. i had to drive the rest of the night home.mikes a bad driver,kinda,he just spaces alot,and im a freak driver,i cannot sleep or take my eyes off the road if i dont feel completely safe in a vehicle.

2am im home,and in front of this screen mtl seems like a faded dream somewhere.except its weird because i dont really dream much.
gone already amongst the smoke and memories in my brain,i dont want to believe its over already.but its really just the beginnning.a new adventure opens in las vegas this weekend with jack and dean.
on the road......
breathe....

homeless hockey

Mike and his woman picked me up at 9.3am for the drive to mtl.uneventful ride,with lots of rain,and some ben and jerrys ice cream of course. then a meal at cracker barrell in watertown,where we dropped the herb for a nice treat for the ride home.and i locked the keys in the car,of course,no suprise,last time on our way to nyc i left the lights on and the battery died. I called D&S auto and he was there before we were done eating,all greased out and exactly what i expected for a tow truck driver. well at least he was cheap,and fast.so no biggie,we stash our precious doobage in the 3rd bush. see you on the way home my sweet cheebah.

arrive in mtl and check in with our host jacinthe. are you kidding me,she has a warm friendly smile,and a huge loft that her and her 7 roomies opened to us with welcome arms.i loved to skip around that loft,it was like a gym.and we were her first surfers ever.i smoked cigs with her friend francis and talked.then we went to get beer at the corner store.damn canadians,always drinkin,well okay twist my arm.

we found out that there was a hockey game,the habs are playin the islanders and were not meeting at the bar till 10. mike and i decide we can afford about up to $30-40 for seats so lets try and go.
nope,nothing below $109. yeah right,for a normal season game,no thanks,ill try and scalp.again,without success.
defeated we go to the bar in the arena,drink beer and watch on the big screen.
after the 2nd period mike sent me up to see what i can find.now or never the 3rd is about to start.and so is my time with my homeless friend.

when people leave the arena,if their tickets have been scanned they can come back in.i think thats how it worked.either way i was outside the smoking door and in between the periods asking people if they were leaving and i could have their ticket.
he beat me to it. and i dont remember his name,but he got two,and he invited me,well sometimes i look homeless,lol.
seats in the 116 section,great seats.i was thrilled,and bought us both beers,then filled out a credit card app to get the free t-shirt that i will wear proudly for the memories of my hockey night in canada.

i called mike and informed him of my victory on entering the arena,told him the scoop and hoped he got in as well. because it was a great freakin game and id hate to be telling tales of it afterwards while he sat outside or in the bar and waited for me.

my homeless friend was wasted,but hilarious,and we talked while cheering wildly,and him cursing to the offense of the parents below us covering their kids ears.i was too happy to be embarrased,and so was he.especially when ac/dc came on and he danced his way down the row to the aisle down to the glass,while playin air guitar fiendishly,like angus young himself possesed him and was playin riffs through this mans body.
untill the security guard immediatly escorted him back to my seat,and i smiled with a loving apologetic smile to the disgruntled faces of the patrons in my row,that were mad at having to get up again to let the poor drunk guy through.how can you people look down at your noses at this man.sure hes homeless,and not like most of you,but hes having the time of his life at this game and it probably means the world to him.and all they could think of im sure... i could see it running through their minds,clear as ever like a painting on their weak,pale faces was... how did this man get in these great seats?

encouraged more by this mans exubarance and his zest for living in this moment and in spite of my rude brothers and sisters around me... i partyed with him,and screamed,and cheered like we were two kids at a playoff game. and we won.
and i hugged my drunk father like figure when the game was over,(thats what it felt like,me the son,shooting glances at the on-lookers around us,protecting my dad...like yeah hes drunk,hes my dad,what do you want to do about it? were having a good time,is that not permitted for the likes of us?pffff to you too.....

he was off to get his ticket signed,and i to meet up with mike to glow about the random time i just had at the montreal canadians game with a stranger,in a dream,that i needed,to bring me back.back to see the beauty in why i love to travel,and why i love to meet people,and bring something into their life,my life,our lives.but i need something more.more meaningful.sure i can bring a hockey game or a drink,but i want to bring hope.sounds stupid in a way but i mean hope as in a light,some hope,that maybe for that one person who just needs a boost,some spirit or light on a path,someone to say at that perfect defining moment in ones life....come on,heres my ear,hears my hand,walk and lets talk,and let me give you some sort of friendship,hope,and fuck all these others that just step right over us,as if we dont exist.and hopefully i can come along at that right time,and be that person for someone.because one day when im the position of needing that person,i know i sure as hell will appreciate that. and know geniunly where it came from.

I dont really know what to do with my purpose in life,what is my purpose,not sure.but i feel i can at least be there for one person,one person that needs just someone to care.im good at that.before im gone,and wasted away,i will consider that an honor to at least help one.
and maybe that day,the homeless hockey guy,thats just what he needed.a friend besides his cigs,bottle and blankets,a friend to slap hands when his fav team wins 4-3 in the home arena in front of 22,000 crazy hockey fans.
oh what a night,and the weekends just started. good job mistress of the road,youve led me to another worthy memory along my travels in life.see you in the morning,for another day of wandering in montreal.

im back

Im back on the road today.left the desert this morning.headed for two weeks between mtl and vegas with not much money at all.
enough to eat and drink. all i need.
i need to leave town,get back on the road and wash away my drama with new adventures and new light.
i havnt slept in 24 hours,well minus the time in the shuttle on the way to salt lake. i have no alarm so i stayed up last night untill i needed to catch the bus.i brought the bar home with me to help me stay up, we woke up the neighboorhood,i made cornbread at 3 am for all of my guests.we had a fire,we laughed,we cried,we smoked and we drank way too much.at least it was good tequilla.
life has been a roller coaster since i came back to the states.mainly with love.but i knowingly take the ride with her,
its worth it,what if shes taken from me tommorow or i from her,i dont want that hanging over my head,i just want to enjoy every moment with her touch,those eyes,the talks,the cigs and coffee and wine,the peaceful moment when two can just relax and enjoy,breathe.remember to breathe.i wait.
im going to have a cigarette.
hello open road,my mistress,here i come,gotta light?