pissing cats,playin turd,and laughs,and i have to leave this....

actually leaving lisboa tommorow,got postponed because mike was having so much fun shitting his brains out in africa he wanted to stay untill the absolute minute,which i didnt mind,saving me from the heat wave in seville and giving me more time to spend with my new roommates in portugal. ive made peace with the cat who first pissed on my sweater,now he loves me,and sleeps with me everynight,damn i love that pussy. and have to leave playin turd on the beach with ana and diogo for next summer,i will def be back. how can you stay away from people that took you in open arms and let you totally have the run of the place like you lived there or something,oh wait i kinda do. or did.
for you two girls that got to share the time here you know just what im talking about.and what it feels like to make great friends at strange times in all of our lives. and this is why i travel,not to chalk up how many museums or sites i can see. or how much of the food i can eat,(even though we did a good job on the food and i def put on some pounds i needed.) but to share the life changing events of learning from others,and teaching,and sharing,and relaxing in that bright glow of joy and knowledge and wisdom gained from sharing your soul with others.others who enjoy life so much and appreciate all we can gain from each other,in being honest,and open,and best of all being yourself.

subway cars of the dead.

(nobody talked to me today except for the waitresses who took my coffee and tea order,strange day)

I use to wonder why people would walk around all day with headphones on blocking out life around them,unill i became one of them today,and now i know why. its fuckin boring man,and lifeless.where is everyone rushing off too so fast? their deaths thats where,and so am i, just a bit slower and more layed back then they are. running up the stairs and escalators like they cant wait to get to work or something. the worst and painfull death of all,work,the way i see it. The sweating scramble for profit and domination,getting by just to pay the bills and feed the mouths,work,that false security of friends around you. their not your friends,just others like yourself,forced to be there so they can pay the bills also.
friends,friends are like mike,and others like him,your travel partners,those not scared to step out of the norm,lose everything,look the fool in strange places,go that extra mile or ten to make someone smile or just to talk to them and make them feel wanted. and you dont even have to travel far to do that,on your daily commute to work on the subway or bus ride to your daily march to death which is your job,take the time to say hello to the stinky,staunch faced person next to you,if they havnt already given up,headphones on and tuned out. at least thats all i wanted today.
maybe brought on by the sadness of all the beggars and the blind passing me by with outstretched hands and cups. saddening me because i cant help them all as much as i want to. but then i remember the words of jesus saying that the poor will always be among you. and unlesss i become the president of the world bank i realize i will go broke and become one of them trying to help them. or maybe its because my mp3 player chose to play all the saddest music in its library,setting up the perfect scene for the sad faces passing me by.
maybe its pent up sadness in myself,from somewhere yet unknown or yet unseen.because i havnt really let loose like ed norton in fight club and let the tears flow in such a long time. but then again,honestly,thankfully,not having a reason too,except for the joy of still being alive,and getting to share that joy with anyone who will willingly accept it.

Ahh but its the start of a new day now. im out of the underground speedy coffins,ive had my tea in the shade at my fav coffee shop.the wind in my face and through my hair,sad music gone,dizzy gillespie playing in my ears,"on the sunny side of the street". billy holiday with her sweet voice,whispering as well. So i breathe deep,and im off to smile at the sun and whoever else is in need of one today. im guessing,the people who are just getting done work.

too much fun pool side

stupid

k so im really bad at computer shit so im going to wait for ana or someone to help me. bye.